Sticker Shock

A recent survey conducted by the Midwest Institute of Fabricated Surveys has revealed the top 5 experiences people most want to avoid, but cannot according to rules of society.

Number 5: The Awkward Office Hallway Head-Nod.
You know, the one you share with everyone in your office you either don't care for, or that you've never met, or that you've already said the Office Hallway Hello-To on that particular day. And heaven forbid you get the Head-Nod from someone you've already said Hello-To and you forget and say Hello-To for a second time in the same day. There are only so many shades of red.

Number 4: Renewing your tags
You know, the longest line ever, regardless of how many people are in it. I've been the second person in line before at the DMV to renew tags and still waited 4 hours to be helped because 1. everyone except the person helping the old lady in front of me took the day off, and 2. because the old lady in front of me was required to ask every conceivable question about tag renewal know to man in the slowest, loudest possible voice. Now I would never punch an old lady...again.

Number 3: Jury Duty
You know, the human gene pool meeting at City Hall. You're the only normal one there, and you get to sit in between people who are employing the Stanislavski Method for mental illness/incompetency to try for a pre-coffee excusal.

Number 2: Public Speaking
You know, everyone finding out you're a fraud and an idiot, and that you say "bowlth" instead of "both". People who die from this fear, and there are thousands of them per year, usually soil themselves front and back before kicking the bucket.

Number 1: Buying a Car (in a freaking landslide that makes the Stevie Nicks version look like a, uh, I don't know, a really small landslide.)
You know, the experience where you have your IQ reduced by 75 points the minute your feet hit the sales lot, and everyone wearing a name tag inherits those lost points. You know, the day you go home and scrub your hands harder than a brain surgeon with OCD to get the filth of being swindled from under your nails.

Well, sometimes fear is nothing more than a big old nasty lookin' self-fulfilling prophecy, that doesn't quite swallow you whole for one reason or another. I just went though meat grinder number 1 from above, and while I make it a point not to be overly gracious to anyone who hasn't endorsed or sponsored my blog, I did want to say a public thanks to Mike Williams and Molle Volkswagen in KC.

Two days of talking, test driving, education, haggling and getting to know him have changed my mind about the fear of buying cars. Don't get me wrong, I did lots of homework and tried to be as educated as possible, but there isn't a trick in the book that could have swerved him off the path of simply being an honest guy selling people a car. You can tell he loves what he does and that probably makes all the difference. If you're shopping for a Punch Dub in the KC Metro, go see Mike.

I think you'll leave with a car and without feeling lighter in the wallet. Who knows, perhaps you'll get the strength to leave the diapers at home the next time you have to give a presentation at work...