(Not at all) Sad

Forgive my overstating the importance of a stupid concert from last week, but I memorialize May 3rd, 2010 for my own bad memory, the memory of my kid down the line, and my own Dad who wants to know how it went...

The KC Pearl Jam Review Slash-Blog-Slash Best Concert of My Life Blog

I was really nervous, which is saying something because I never get uptight about anything (Insert M*A*S*H* canned laughter) let alone about how this experience would "go" for me and the boy.

Bear in mind that I'd just paid for his first stick of deodorant about 10 days before...at his request.
Bear in mind that I am an idiot compared to other people on this planet that know about cool things, music and fun.

So, I was nervous that I would embarrass the hell out of Sam and push a "great time" on him and force laughter and act way too cool and just blow the whole thing...well, because that's what you do as a Dad.

We both put on concert t-shirts (with long sleeve undershirt). It was instinct. Nobody mentioned it. You don't talk about things like that, you simply let it ride.

We drove to the Sprint Center with my I-Pod on full Pearl Jam mode...him driving (the song selection) and me allowing him to drive. He did a good job. He mixed it up, moving from "Daughter" to "Amongst the Waves" and collapsing with "Red Mosquito" at 20th and Grand.

We argued (philosophically) about the first song we thought they'd play as we sauntered about the spring/city/evening traffic. He voted for "Sad" which he knows is my favorite song they ever wrote, and it hit me then like a frickin Mack truck...This kid was listening to me at some point in his life. We have contentious times. He doesn't always like me, but...he gives a shit about my opinion. He cares about the old man a little bit. We...are...friends?

I played that song for him two years ago. Found it on an AOL sessions website that captured some great studio time on giant Persian rugs with all of the band playing surrounded by about 95 guitars and no audience. It's real and raw and right here if you want to watch it. It remains a favorite place of mine to visit in ye olde cyberspace if I'm searching out a place to feel right.

Anyway, I shared that video with Sam a while ago and he asked me later why it wasn't in my ITunes library.

I had no good answer. After all, it was my "favorite song".

He got an ITunes gift card for his birthday and dropped 99 cents of it on me one night. He burned the single song CD for me. He gives a shit what I say. We're buds.

We parked at the Cashew (you know, for the free parking) and jogged to make the opening act. I think I felt as alive and ready at that moment as I have in a long time when it came to being a Father... simply because I was back in control and not being guided by anything other than a desire to make that moment happen without pretense. It was like his birth. Ironic and contradictory though it sounds.

We fought the dopies and moshers in the halls with joy. Every person we saw was a freak and a brother. They all had the same love for the place they were in as we did. Sam took all of it in stride...the swearing, stammering, crowding, screaming, beer spilling and the grinning. I saw it in his eyes that he got it. He knew that this was an exception to the norm...that this was an adventure to soak in.
This was a pool to not fear swimming in.
These were people that would never laugh at his dance moves.

We tried to buy a $3 poster before the show got underway but missed out. It was ideal (price for me and longingly viewed by him as we passed it on display) for us all, but ultimately, I couldn't pay the drunkest guy on the concourse 10 bucks for the same cardboard tube the vendor sold out of- so we decided that souvenirs were not part of the plan.

Seats...great. View of the stage...great. Opening act (Band of Horses)...great. Anticipation...great. The feeling we shared when the lights dimmed and the bass start to hum was just marvelous.

They played for two and a half hours and honestly never let up from the minute they took the stage except to reload on water or wine or a smoke. They played everything in the arsenal. It was so great. I don't even want to ruin how terrific that show was by trying to over-talk it.

We left with our ears ringing and heads spinning from the dopey behind us with the one-hitter who couldn't stand up. Sam knew what all the chaos was, whether he understood the delivery method or the brazen smokey discord that surrounded him. We took it all in stride and and I kept watching his eyes. They were fixed on the stage. On the way out of the front door I proudly invested in a tour t-shirt for him.

As we got close to the car, he asked me why they didn't play "Sad".

I didn't have an answer for him, but I definitely wasn't sad they hadn't. It was the best concert I ever saw.