Sell your Garage.

In 2003 I went to this really cool store and bought this really cool thing for someone I love a really lot. I gave it to them and they really loved it and it was really cool and soon began collecting dust in my house.

Then, in 2007, I found it again and we reminisced about how cool this thing was and even spent a couple of hours looking at it and doing cool things with it.

In 2008, after I dusted it off for the 22nd time, I started not to like this really cool thing. In fact, it became a really uncool thing. "Where the hell did I get this piece of crap?" I asked aloud to nobody. And nobody came to the rescue of this piece of crap, so it made it's way to my basement along with the other pieces of crap I never wanted throughout time. What a waste of crap those things were!

So it was, until I cleaned my piece of crap basement and found all this really cool stuff that people would love to pay me dearly for since logic dictated that, once, I loved all this cool crap and now it was time for someone else to shell out the big bucks for all this really cool, necessary crap!

The logical and cool solution: hold a really cool garage sale where cool people with big bucks could come to my cool sale and pay me big dough for all my cool stuff.

The realistic and actual outcome: hold a crappy sale in my lawn for people who already hold an advanced degree in taking my uncool crap from me for pennies on the dollar.

"How you all doin' today?" I would ask each group as they piled from the Sanford/Son-like jalopy...

"Fine. You got any silverware? Gold stuff? Anything gold?"

These folks know the value of a dollar, I surmise.

"Nope! Got a sweet lunch tray with the Fairly Odd Parents logo on it, though...and I paid about $15 for it a couple years ago...It can be yours for three bucks. Whaddya say?"

"I'll give you ten cents. Take it or leave it, dummy."

"Sold, to the nice lady who has me in a half-nelson!"

And so it went, endlessly screwed over of my least valuable possesions for seven hours.

Did I feel cheated? No. Why? Because I want this crap less than they do. And in the end, possession is 9/10ths of the law...and the law says I don't have to deal with it anymore.

Or ever pay retail for anything as long as I live.